Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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