And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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