New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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