The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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