You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
