i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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