It was confusing and full of hummus
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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