I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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