if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
