But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
