I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize