Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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