he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
