Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
