Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
