Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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