She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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