I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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