Sacagawea was the original milf.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
