no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
