yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
