That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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