It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
babies were throwing up all over the place
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
