We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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