I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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