Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
