Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
