try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
