im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
