stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wear drunk well.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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