We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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