that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
