Have you finally orgasmed yet?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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