I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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