Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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