I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
