new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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