I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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