We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
