Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm at about main and main street
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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