So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
