sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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