K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
