u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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