Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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