shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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