But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
