Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize