Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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