i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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