STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
