Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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