How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
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Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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