I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
