Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
