Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
