that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
