so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My balls are so social today.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
