k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
