He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
