So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
