yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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