One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
