I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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