Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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